She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
