He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize