Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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