You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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