Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
