Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I wear drunk well.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
