OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
