I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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