sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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