idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
