I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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