just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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