sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
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He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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