We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
