Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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