We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
