I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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