new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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