You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
