I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
