we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
