He uses pillows to masturbate.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
