uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
