all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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