I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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