Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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