Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
