dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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