There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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