we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
