Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
