This girl is more easily done than said...
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
