there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Sorry about my life...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
