I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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