look no pants
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.