Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.