____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.