New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.