Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
