If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize