I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
