i came on her dog
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
