So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
