you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You made out with two different species that night
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
