i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
