how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
