Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize