did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
There are leaves in my underwear?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
