how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
