I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
