i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
