Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
