i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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