He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
