I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
we should paint friendship bongs
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize